Thursday, May 05, 2005,6:41 PM
Feeling better
Well, Rahul didn't get his first call in the morning. Why? My wish. Its been a year or two, so another day won't matter. I've been talking with Mud, trying to solve this little problem with me. Ohh, ya right, I don't even mention what problem I have, why? Perhaps I guess this blog is not SECURE enough. hehe.

Anyways, I always thought my best friends knew that they are my best friends. I don't need to be explicit about it, or should I be? Now that its been two long years of separation from home, my friends, and what not, I guess I have learnt how to live without them. Ohh gosh, not again, come on, this is not first year that you are feeling home sick or anything. I guess I am mentioning all this once again because I think I have some responsibility for my dear ones.

My friend, Arun says, obviously you are not a part of their daily ruitine now, so you are kind of secondary. Ohh, even the thought of it makes me shiver, they were never secondary to me, why am I? Or do they feel the same way as I do? This dilemma is going to accompany me all life. I KNOW I won't be able to live AT HOME ever. Why? Be practical man, you're a software engineer, you have to be in a place where there is business, demand, work. My hometown has no business, no demand, no work.

I sometimes think of my parents, they brought me in this world, taught me how to speak, walk, talk, eat, etc, etc, etc. But am I a part of their life now. NO. I am just someone whom they care about, and who visits them once every six months. I don't know how to digest this fact.

Ohh, I've been reading someone's blog lately. Sad girl, thats what I came to know. Comparison ---> Competetion... well, comparing her and me, my sorrow is far behind in competetion with hers. But the way she lives, so determined, dedicated, trying to pull herself up from all the pain and depression, fills me with all the more energy to work and forget the pain.

Anyways, I guess, I can't write more. Its 7:24 AM here. I've been up all night. Neeraj left for his relatives place, we were there to see him off on the college main gate, Ashish, Meghna and myself. Ohh, and did I mention all the fun we had all day shopping clothes and toys for his little niece he is going to meet? Well, we also gave some presents from our side, hehe. Ohh, and I visited Hyderabad Central for the first time, hehe, Devansh keeps on pressing to go there, and everyone ignores it. Well, I've been ignoring him all day without reason, lets see, we'll go out for dinner tomorrow.

Okay, I can't hold any longer. Good Night!
posted by Anurag Singh Rana
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