Thursday, July 21, 2005,10:32 AM
Its raining...
It has just started to rain heavily, and a cool breeze with some water droplets is making me feel fresh and cool. Its been a nice evening, just 11 PM now, and I plan to sleep early, maybe just after doing my DIP assignment. I missed the Compilers class today, because I was late as usual. From tomorrow I want to attend the morning PT compulsorily.

After dinner when I returned from the canteen, my friends were doing the so called "official ragging". Most of it was over as it is restricted to 10:30 PM only. And its not bad actually, just some talking and all, though the juniors are scared a hell lot, hehe. Let me see, I'll also try to do some tomorrow.

Rest is all fine in my life, I mean it is supposed to be so. I started a new blog website just to open my writings for the public, but I plan to post only "articles" unrelated to me in any way in that. Its address is

I went to Koti the other day to get some books, and to get gift for Bhanu's birthday, something like a combined present, we got her a jacket. But, unexpectedly, we returned early and didn't even have dinner, so I decided to not eat anything in the night.

I got myself a new card, a sim card, Hutch again. Its number is 9885288970. And the first call I made was a missed one to dad. Then to Ravi Shankar. It was because I didn't remember any other numbers, hehe. I smsed Alvy about my new number, and Tanu came to know through MSN, so she smsed me. Finally today I smsed Riya about my new number and she was like, I thought you blocked me, I am going to someone's birthday party, see you, bye.

One major change these days is the behavior of tanu. I don't know if it has come back to normal or am I expecting a little too much, but the fact remains, she is not talking to me or replying to my sms. If I ask her, HOW ARE YOU?, her reply is, WHY DO YOU ASK? This is kind of rude and all, but I thought there is no problem, and we are like before. But like before means what, she talked less then, but then she didn't reply in such a tone. Something is wrong, or maybe its just her workload. We'll find out soon.
posted by Anurag Singh Rana
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Tuesday, July 19, 2005,2:20 PM
I've a painful and blocked ear.... a headache . and a muddled up head... its a little chilly here... and my chair is broken.. so I've back ache too... and thanks to god its raining so cant go out also. This is no movie scene but what I'm in right now.

Today, sun didn't rise for me, I was sleepy because of the chatting late in the night. Mom called up at 6, asking me to wake up for class, so I told her that its at 10. I didn't get up for the Pattern Recognition class at 10. When the sound of my PC, my fan and the hot rays of the sun forced me to get up, it was 2 PM. I got up lazily and did nothing.

At six, I had the DIP class, so was planning to get ready in any circumstances. In the afternoon, Chahat and Tanu started talking. Chahat is Tanu's friend from Amritsar, and is visiting her in Indore. We've been talking since about a week and have become good friends. Most of the time its not even possible to guess who is talking, Tanu or Chahat, but its fun.

At 5:22 PM, I went to get ready, buzzed all my friends to ask the venue of the class and then finally managed to reach class, ten minutes late, sweating and breathless. The class was good, Prof. Namboodiri is good, but it was too hectic to keep listening for an hour and half. I came back from class with a headache.

I slept in my room for a while, thinking that Chahat will go tomorrow so I should be available online to talk to her for the second last time. She didn't come. I fell deep asleep. My friends woke me up for dinner, for which I reluctantly got dressed. The dinner was awesome, what variety and good taste, better by any standards for our mess.

I returned to my room soon, and started doing nothing. I wanted to do the assignment which the DIP prof. gave, just out of enthusiasm. When I had nothing to do, I considered reinstalling my Windows XP. Soon it was done and soon Tanu and Chahat arrived.

We started talking as usual, this and that. Chahat mentioned how Tanu took Narialpani at 11 because I had recommended. I said it was sweet. But then she insisted to say it romantically. Then Tanu came and she also "seriously" somewhat said that "she wanted a future with me". I was confused, I was not ready for this. Not that she is bad or anything, or that I don't like her. But thats a different issue, I've never thought about such a thing with her. I straight away told her that "We are just friends". For a lot of time it was getting angry and crying and going away. I still doubted that it was all a prank.

Later, she stopped replying after saying "bye forever". This was kind of alarming for me. This started looking serious. I didn't want an end to friendship if I didn't love her and she did. Its like punishing me for a crime I never did. So, I kept trying to talk, and she didn't reply.

After I was exhausted, I switched off the lights and tried to sleep. I don't generally ever switch off my PC, so it was on. And time and again I was looking at it for any reply. Then, my cell rang. It was Tanu! I picked up, not hesitating though, I was almost 99% sure it'd be Chahat, so she was. I explained her the whole issue and she asked me to somehow explain Tanu that I don't love her, but we're friends.

Now, I was more confused, it seemed real! What to do? Tanu... eh? She is not bad, looks good too... sometimes behaves impulsively, but most of the time is good to me. Why the hell did she fall in love with me?

Another thing to tell here is about my mom. Most of the time she is concerned about me, my good, etc. In the process she becomes overprotective. Most of the time she is pushing me to be with people of high academic profile. Unfortunately or fortunately, I don't compare or make friends on the basis of academics. Tanu is doing B.Sc. which SHE doesn't consider to be too great. So, she keeps asking, why are you meeting her, why are you going when she is inviting... and I give the usual explaination... "she's a friend".

So, my little brain went as far as "will my parents accept her". Not that I was ready for all this, but still. Chahat asked me to think about the matter, and so I was thinking. Also, surfing the net and talking about it with an internet friend.

Just then, then phone rang, Tanu again! I didn't know who would it be. But this time I was more bold and cheerful. One of the reasons was, whether a friend or a girl I like, or even the worst girl proposes you, your ego gets a cusion, an enhancement, and thats what happened, not that I wanted any relationship, but my mind had started to think.

She told me that it was a little prank about a bet to test how innocent I was. I said it was okay, talked for a while and then said bye.

This is the moment where I am sitting in front of the PC, just after 10-15 mins after I received the call. This state of mind is kind of blank. Just nothing coming to mind, as if there is no brain or no sensation. Why should I be sad? I didn't have any feelings. Why should I be happy? A girl just dumped me, even without first accepting. I wanted just friendship, then what is it that went wrong? She and Chahat are done with their "test" for my purity.

I want to come out of this place as soon as possible. I don't want to sleep, but how will I attend the class tomorrow? This watch of mine in the PC shows 8:47 AM, so I don't even know what the right time. And it looks to me that I am typing meaningless things in the blog, the description of today is over, but I just don't want to stop. There is nothing to do.

Okay, I stop. We'll try to sleep once more. I told Chahat too, that you've just eliminated "half the tension". God help me.
posted by Anurag Singh Rana
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Friday, July 15, 2005,7:42 PM
A fresh start...
New semister, new start, new energy, new courses, new people around, new challenges, new room, new! Everything is going through a changeover here, and its nice, I am happy with the change. The new semister has just begun, or rather will soon begin, and I am looking forward to it.

I arrived Hyderabad on 14th July by train, ANDHRA PRADESH EXPRESS. It had not been long since I went away from college, just about 14 days!

Nothing much happened at home, except that I met my old friends, me, Rahul, Anni, Tapan and Anurag. We spent some time together, talking, playing, eating, roaming and seeing movies.

Rahul has not changed since he went to Russia, he is the same old, even after two years, and so I was happy. Just as soon as he met me, it was like we had met just yesterday. No, we didn't cry or anything, we are grown up now, hehe. Tapan had an accident so we could not go out a lot, and Anni was busy with his work as usual. Piyush got a little free, and Tanu was like, called up on the last day, when are you leaving, hehe.

It was nice to remain at home for a few more days. This time the feeling was different. This time there was no sadness that the holidays will soon end. Out of the 93 days of holidays, I just stayed about 40 days at home, but still I am content. Most of it is because I was able to meet all my friends and spend time with the family as well.

I didn't meet Prerna and Vijay bhaiya this time also. I had thought of giving a visit to their place at least once. After all I consider them one among the best friends. I called them up on the last day, that is, on the day I was supposed to leave for Hyderabad. They were so delited to talk to me, and a little angry that I didn't meet them. What I could sense from their talk was as if they were saying, come on dude, you've forgotten us, now just move on, no need to try to do anything. I want to correct all this when I go home next, maybe this December or maybe next year in June.

The new achievement is that I got my CAR AND TWO WHEELER GEARED EXCEEDING 50 CC DRIVING LICENSE finally. The driving test was almost as if it wasn't there. I drove alone to the RTO and then the person just asked me take out the car and park it back, piece of cake, and then just a digital photo. Will get the CARD in a few days.

Tonight, Tanu was behaving strangely, talking like she never talks, and I feel its like we are not so close friends or something, we are just friends. This is mainly because of her attitude towards me, a little arrogant all the time, and maybe there is some of my fault too. Anyways, I later found out that it was her new friend Chahat who was talking so friendlily, and not Tanu. It doesn't matter much to me, but it does matter a little bit.

I got the Farewell CDs of my school batch and was seeing them. My old batchmates, some of them I had forgotten, and some of them I wanted to see, some of them I didn't want to see. I showed the video to a couple of friends.

The video these days going on everywhere is of the song KAJRARE from BNB. Devansh Amit Sumeet Karthik Parag and Me, all are just completely hipnotized by the song. The act of Aish is a little hot and because of her sweetness, its even better. I love the song.

There were some problems in choosing where will I live in the coming time. Most of the people decided to go to the Old Boys Hostel. I was not compulsorily required to go there and later Ravi and Ashish pushed me to stay in the New Boys Hostel. Just then I understood that I can live a little far with Ashish and Ravi, but its difficult to leave people like Amit and Parag, the ones who are all the time around you and make the air lively. So, I chose to go to the OBH. There were minor problems in room allotment. Finally I got 184 OBH. I'll shift the room as soon as the other person vacates the room.

There are a lot more thoughts flowing in the mind at the moment, but I am half asleep, didn't sleep all night, so have no strength to carry on, thanks to Chahat and Tanu probably. Everything is new here, and I hope that the new semister will be fruitful.

Oh, I missed writing about the courses I have opted. I talked to professor PJN, and he suggested to take up Digital Image Processing and Pattern Recognition as the elective courses. Later Srikanth backed out of PR because of the heavy workload. I also opted out of PR. But PR is a important course for me, and I am considering to take it up again.

The result of the last semister has been nice, with a SGPA of 8.8 excluding a 4 credit course under professor MB Srinivas, so its expected to go even higher. Ok, ok, I'll leave now, bye.
posted by Anurag Singh Rana
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